Understanding D-MER: When Breastfeeding Triggers Unexpected Emotions
Authors: Nicole Woznicki, Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner | Editors: Romina Garcia de leon, Janielle Richards (Blog Co-Coordinators) | Expert Reviewer: Magdalena Martínez García
Published: May 9, 2025
The postpartum period is full of choices a mom must make for her new baby. One of these choices is whether they want to try breastfeeding. The World Health Organization (WHO) and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommend exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life, with the introduction of appropriate complementary nutrition starting around six months postpartum, and continued breastfeeding up to two years or beyond. Some mothers would like to adhere to this recommendation but encounter challenges that hinder them from doing so. Among these challenges is dysphoric milk ejection reflex (D-MER), an under-recognized condition affecting an estimated 15.4% of breastfeeding mothers.
What is D-MER?
D-MER is a neuroendocrine condition that causes sudden, intense negative emotions and physical symptoms that occur during milk letdown, whether from breastfeeding, pumping, or spontaneous expression. These symptoms can include, but aren’t limited to:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Hopelessness
- Anger
- Agitation
- Irritability
- Homesickness
- Intense feelings of dread
- Nausea
- Extreme food aversion
These feelings typically dissipate minutes after the milk ejection reflex begins. While some women experience D-MER throughout their entire breastfeeding or pumping journey, some report that these symptoms decrease in severity or go away entirely around three months postpartum.
What are the risk factors of D-MER?
In a survey of nearly 1500 lactating mothers, the following were found as risk factors for developing D-MER:
- Having postpartum depression
- Having the baby blues
- Having a reported mental health disorder prior to pregnancy
What causes D-MER?
Unfortunately, there hasn’t been enough research on D-MER to know what causes this condition. Several hypotheses suggest that a hormonal imbalance occurs during the milk ejection reflex, also known as milk letdown. Prolactin, the hormone responsible for milk production, is released in response to an infant’s suckling or stimulation by a breast pump. This release depends on the suppression of dopamine, a hormone closely linked to feelings of pleasure and reward. This has led researchers to believe that the sudden drop in dopamine during the milk ejection reflex may be what triggers the intense negative emotions reported by mothers experiencing D-MER.
The effects of D-MER on the mother
D-MER can have substantial adverse effects on the mother’s mental health. Many mothers report feeling disappointment in themselves, shame, worthlessness, and guilt. Some of these mothers even experience suicidal ideation or thoughts of self-harm or harm to others.
D-MER has been known to disrupt the bonding experience between mother and infant and may lead some mothers to stop breastfeeding. Some women quit altogether, and some women may reduce the frequency of breastfeeding or pumping in an attempt to minimize these feelings. The latter has the potential to cause a decrease in their milk supply, leading to increased stress and/or breastfeeding cessation.
Is there a treatment for D-MER?
D-MER is not well researched; therefore, there is no medically proven or approved treatment. Anecdotally, some women have found some symptom improvement with the use of bupropion, an antidepressant, and pseudoephedrine. Some research suggests that lack of sleep, stress, and caffeine can make the symptoms of D-MER worse. Other research indicates that exercise, staying hydrated, and having a diet with protein can also help improve this condition.
Clinical recommendations and considerations
Education is crucial for supporting women with D-MER, and it’s essential for any healthcare professional working with postpartum women to be informed about the condition. This includes, but isn’t limited to, OB/GYNs, nurses, lactation consultants, and mental health providers.
By educating more healthcare professionals, we can better inform new mothers. Teaching women about this condition has already proven to be an effective intervention. It can be helpful for these mothers to hear that there is nothing wrong with them and that this is a physiologic reaction they cannot control.
It is also crucial for providers to be able to distinguish D-MER from postpartum depression to ensure appropriate diagnosis and treatment. While both conditions may present with similar symptoms, such as feelings of sadness and anxiety, the pattern and duration of symptoms differ significantly. D-MER symptoms occur exclusively during milk ejection reflex and typically resolve within minutes, with women maintaining normal mood between breastfeeding or pumping sessions. In contrast, postpartum depression is characterized by persistent symptoms that occur throughout the day, independent of breastfeeding activities. This distinction is crucial, as misdiagnosis can lead to inappropriate treatment approaches and delayed care. However, it’s important to note that these conditions can coexist, and the presence of one does not exclude the other.
D-MER remains a largely under-recognized condition, yet it has profound effects on the emotional and physical well-being of mothers during the postpartum period. By increasing awareness and understanding of D-MER among healthcare professionals and new mothers alike, we can help reduce the feelings of confusion, guilt, and shame that many women experience.
*If you are experiencing D-MER and need support or want to learn more, visit d-mer.org, a website created by Alia Macrina Heise, the lactation consultant who first identified the condition in 2007. You can also contact your healthcare provider or a lactation consultant for personalized support.